Pee-on-a-stick-itis

Pee-on-a-stick: POAS. 
In our (C and I) research we learned that women began testing for a pregnancy almost immediately after an embryo transfer. Agencies provide boxes and boxes of tests. Women buy them in bulk at Costco. They POAS up to five times per day, each stick labelled: 3dp5dt 5am, which means 3 days past a 5 day transfer, at 5am. They monitor for any sign of a bfp (big fat positive), then they monitor for any changes in the shade of the test line on the test to see if they appear to be becoming more pregnant. 
Pregnancy works the same way whether or not it was conceived the 'old fashioned way' (sex) or any fertility treatment. You have to wait for the embryo to implant into the uterus and begin to grow, while the hormones for that growth accumulate in the system. A blood test is usually scheduled about two weeks after the transfer, known fondly as the two week wait (2ww). It is a hellish time for any couple, surely. To make it all harder, the medications used to help to facilitate and maintain the pregnancy are hormones, and can cause pregnancy-like symptoms. In the past I have even had what was like morning sickness - but could have been medications, anxiety, or both. Also, because of the medications, there is a possibility of a false positive. I do not think that it is common. However, I know myself. If it was positive, I would question the legitimacy of the test and if it was negative, I would try to find hope in telling myself the test had been done too soon. There would be no sense in POAS too soon with me. I think that C would have had some POAS-itis, but I asked her not to test. Then I told her that if she wants to be testing, that I do not want to know about it. But then, it would be weird for her to know that I am expecting and not me. C, ever the understanding person, agreed not to test until I was ready. 
So, we waited quietly. I was quite obsessed with what might be the outcome. But, it was summer and I was still on a lot of medications. EllaGrace and I went to my grandmother's cottage where I spent time with my cousins and cousins-in-law, enjoying all of our children playing together and napping. I did my best to be distracted. 
Eventually, as we approached the end of the two weeks, though I am not sure when - maybe 8 or 10 days after the transfer, I texted C. I told her that I am in no rush, but if she wants to POAS I would be ready for the result. As for me, I had one old POAS test sitting in the bathroom that I could use one morning if I had the guts. 
Even in writing this, knowing very well how the story goes, I can bring butterflies to my stomach and tension to my shoulders. Waiting for news like that, after everything we had been through can be so difficult... 
xx