Historically Speaking

Briefly put, we have a long history of infertility treatment and complications. Others in this world might have longer stories, but for us, in October 2013, we reached our limit. We had finally become pregnant and were expecting twins. We were terrified and thrilled. At 15 weeks gestation my water broke with Baby A (Maggie). All of a sudden, we were in a world of "un-viable pregnancy" and high risk doctors. We chose not to terminate the pregnancy; Maggie and her brother, Patrick, were both still growing and had beautiful little heartbeats. If they could just stay in there long enough, they both had a real chance at life. The doctors assured us I would go into labour too soon and that the babies had no hope. 

During 10 weeks of home bedrest, I proved those doctors wrong. I approached and passed fetal viability. Sadly, at 25 weeks I awoke with chills, fever and infection. This is fairly expected with ruptured membranes as I had had for 10 weeks. I delivered two beautiful babies on October 24th 2013. Our Sweet Maggie had not had enough fluid or enough time to fight and died in my arms after only 2 hours of life. Our Little Patrick responded well to NICU support. We watched him wiggle and lick breastmilk from a cotton swab; he was a little miracle! At four days old he suffered severe bleeding in his brain and passed away in my arms, surrounded by family and love. 

The heartbreak of losing children paired with the emotional toll of fertility treatments and bed rest were overwhelming for my partner and I. We decided that while we are still committed to growing our family, that we are not prepared to do so alone. This was also based upon research which demonstrates that I am now at significant risk of having history repeat itself. We decided to pursue surrogacy, to have someone support us in trying to bring children into our lives along side me. We were looking for hope. And we found her, lovely C. This is a blog about the process of finding a surrogate, a clinic, doing treatment and following those pregnancy stories. 

If you are interested in learning more about my twin pregnancy, than take a look at my other blog: www.dismalprognosis.blogspot.com