And Then Came C

Actually finding a surrogate is a rollercoaster. Will we find one? Or not? Will we have to re-mortgage our house? Move to Mexico? Every now and then strangers engage in the conversation with you - hope up. Then they stop speaking to you - hope down. 

Our friends and family knew what we were doing and we did not feel comfortable approaching anyone directly. We imagined this would be too emotionally laden a question and difficult for loved ones to answer honestly. 
I began speaking to women through various Facebook groups and chat forums. Upon initially telling my story my spirits were lifted, as several women came forward expressing interest in being a surrogate if not immediately, certainly eventually. Frustratingly, one by one, they stopped communicating with me. Losing these contacts was probably one of the most disheartening time periods in this journey. I even spoke with one woman who had been a surrogate before, but it just did not seem like we were going to find someone. I started looking more into agencies and international options. 

After all our searching, one fateful day (queue magical music and cheesy lighting), I received a message from a school acquaintance. The message indicated that she wanted to speak to me but was unsure how to approach the topic and through what means. Not sure what it could be about, but wishing as always, I invited her to chat away. C explained that she and her spouse had been speaking about surrogacy and that their conversation could not go any further without our input. I read that message and THANK YOU WORLD! 

What feels like a long time, but was likely a week, maybe two, we discussed surrogacy. How fertility treatment works. Expectations with regard to the pregnancy, abortion, delivery, care providers, etc. Wonderfully, we seemed to always have the same answers. Easy peasy. We had the occasional phone conversation that lasted hours as we chatted about life in general and surrogacy in particular. We spoke about money: awkward but necessary. 


One evening I came home from work around 9pm (in late March) and checked my phone to find a message from C in which the second line read:  
Spouse and I would like to move forward with your family.

In that moment my life changed. She changed the potential story we were writing. I danced down to the basement to tell my spouse, who is generally far more even keeled that me. He reminded me to be cautious. I did my best, but we had a surrogate!  

In fact, as C has remained involved, positive, supportive and enthusiastic about the process it has become clear that as my hope wavered during my pregnancy and became a scary prospect in the months that followed, she brought it back into our lives. C is my hope. I am a person who has hope, embodied in someone who offers to change my life for the better.  Thank you, C.

xx