In the mean time, Lee was still finishing some course work for his first year of his masters. One night, while I sat in the family room, holding Baby A, Lee said that he best get into the basement and work because who knows how much longer he has. He reflected on how much work one baby already was and how hard it was to carve out time for school. Off he went to the computer. A few minutes later, I received a text message from C. It was a screen shot of an App which tracks contractions. There was a list of contractions. They seemed to last around 45 seconds, sometimes longer. And they seemed to be approximately every 5 minutes. I quickly texted C back, asked her if she believed she was in labour and if she had phoned the midwife. She responded that she had not phoned the midwife and was still feeling unsure if this was truly labour at all. I called down to Lee and asked him to come upstairs. I can picture him coming up, and looking to me through the banisters, where I sat on the couch. My smile reached from ear to ear. He said, defeated, "she's in labour, isn't she?" We had invested so much in having a surrogate pregnancy, and she is finally in labour, and he is disappointed?! I laughed and then quickly explained that I was concerned she would not make it to Pembroke. She might be too far along. She might change her mind. I asked Lee to pack bags and prepare us. EllaGrace was sleeping at her grandparents, so that was one less concern.
C called her own midwife in Ottawa as my suggestion. C was told that if she hoped to deliver in Pembroke that she needed to get in the car as soon as possible. C phoned doula J to give her warning. I phoned midwife S. C and I are so alike in that this denial seems to be how we labour. I phoned S and explained that C was on her way, but she was not feeling certain that she was in labour and no one wants to inconvenience the midwives. S suggested that she come now, as she has to drive into town, and if it is a false alarm, or a slow labour, we will deal with it then. Knowing everyone was on their way (and that baby B was on the way! Ack!), Lee and I tried to prepare the house. My own strength was not yet back to normal, as Baby A was only 4 days old. I knew I would have to take it easy in preparing and supporting C. We prepared the room in much the same way, played the same music, had the same candles, etc. We decided our dog - who had barked each time I contracted - better go to my in-laws. S arrived and helped prepare. We realized that our attic was filthy as a result of all the renovations so Lee disappeared with the vacuum. It was busy and exciting.
When C arrived she quickly said that the ride had been quite awful and that the doula best be called. With J on her way, we all said our hellos. Then C noticed that the contractions were less frequent and intense. She voiced concern that it was false labour. I reminded her that labour slows with change of location and that she needed to allow herself time to feel settled. S checked her and said that her cervix was still 'very early'.. C looked disappointed. It seemed that even S was unsure if this was the real thing, as she mentioned that we would all just go to bed, if needed. C sat on her yoga ball, had her water, and began to relax. And, sure enough, labour resumed. This time J was present for much more of the labour. She gave hand massages, used oils, did back pressure, back rubs, etc. She once again proved herself a great doula and marriage material.
I remember sitting on the couch, watching C labour with my unborn child, and feeling very guitly. She was phyisically uncomfortable because I eanted help having a baby. Despite my inner psychological warfare, everything unfolded in a very relaxed manner. We all sat together - something that has not happened much with me and the midwives - and chatted, joked. The professionals offered support during contractions. C was graceful in early labour. She used these huge, long, deep breaths. She articulated what she wanted. Her partner, J, was by her side the entire time. He spoke to her about how wonderful she was, how well she was doing. He also took moments for me. "Your baby is coming. This baby is going to be perfect." Each time he spoke to me, I cried.
I recall that it seemed like labour was slow, but in fact, it progressed smoothly and consistently once she arrived in Pembroke. It was between 9 and 10 for her first text and she arrived between 11 and 12. She began articulating that the work of labour was too hard, but she continued to be so graceful through the contractions. Lee prepared the pool and it was ready for C when she was ready to make the switch. S did check her one or two more times and she was progressing just as she should.
Baby A slept soundly in a swing a few feet from the pool, where we all gathered around C as she worked through labour. I struggled, knowing how hard it was from my own labour 4 days earlier, how hard it all was. C would articulate fear, and beg for help. But actually presented as quite calm and coping well. Her words did not line up with what she said. I was nervous that she would have a negative birth experience and be unhappy with her decision to be our surrogate. I second guessed, applauded, shared excitement and fear. As things progressed, my own emotional state became more and more fragile.
But, my care team is amazing, even when it is not me in labour. J would wink at me, reassuring me that things were going well. S checked in on me from time to time, but more importantly, each time she checked the heart rate she reported to C, but also looked at me and waited for me to acknowledge - to understand - that my baby was still well. Each time, my eyes filled with tears. After such loss, could we be so lucky to have two happy, healthy babies? I was so thankful for her support. And, in fact, that beautiful Baby B was so healthy, S kept commenting that the baby did not seem to know it was time to be born, as the heart rate was not fluctuating at all. Like me, C's water had not broken. So, she worked and worked, and we watched and waited. It is so difficult to be the observer, wishing I could do more to take away the pain, especially since it is my baby. As I knelt beside the pool, watching this amazing woman - amazing in so many ways - work to bring my child into the world, I would be overcome. Now and then I would crumple, leaning on my side of the pool, and cry.
When it was time to push, things unfolded slowly. Of course, that is a relative term because I had barely had to chance to realize I was pushing four days earlier. C had a bit of cervix in the way, which caused a lot of pain and S had to move manually. I again feared that she would be unhappy with the birth story. I remember Lee whispering to me, suggested that I should watch for the baby's ear. That was the first thing he saw when EllaGrace was born, and a moment of magic that he will never forget. I witnessed my child's head crown, slowly and gentley entering the world. Then C was in pain and S explained that the baby was moving, turning over, while being delivered. I looked down to search for an ear, but instead saw this sweet hand emerge. The baby had pushed its arm out, raised its hand above its head and made a fist. The baby entered the world like Superman. The sweet hand belonged not to the baby boy C and I believed was coming, but to a plush baby girl. She was delivered and placed into my arms. She was so slippery, covered in vernix and wet from the pool. I laughed. I laughed at her size and with joy. Everyone laughed at her size. I held her and she cried - her cry is of the saddest variety of baby cries and still is.
So, four days after Baby A was born, he was present for the birth of his Twibling sister, Baby B. She was born in our home at 2:30 am. EllaGrace had missed the birth again, but it was unfolded so beautifully, it could not have been better.
xx
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