Contracting

Surrogate? Check. 
Clinic? Check. 
Next: lawyer. Let the massive money spending begin! 

A legal contract is paramount in a situation like this. In Canada, the woman who gives birth to a child is the automatic legal guardian. C and I both need protection from this, so that we cannot bail on one another. Beyond that, we both knew there would be many details to be covered in the contract. We both had done our research and joined the informative, though often overly dramatic, Facebook groups for surrogacy. We had spoken together and with our spouses to ensure that we had the same ideas. We spoke about reimbursement of wages, abortion, selective termination, place to give birth, how many times we would try to get pregnant. We were confident we were ready. And, mostly we were. 

We found two lawyers through Facebook and Google. Essentially, we googled a lawyer and than tested out the name and reputation on Canadian surrogacy networks. I have to say, they were completely accurate. My lawyer was fabulous. She was clear on laws, expectations, etc. It is amazing to me how much detail goes into the contract, it just takes so much specific-yet-vague language to formulate an entire contract. She recommended another lawyer for C, with whom she was very happy as well. 

One thing to say is that these lawyers specialize in the area of fertility. And for me, it seemed quite apparent that my lawyer is passionate about her chosen field of work. We had a couple of telephone conversations where she was curious about our history, how we met our surrogate and shared great enthusiasm when she realized that C is a friend. She even emailed me months later to find out how the treatment cycle went. 

But, above all, what we all appreciated so much, was the lawyers working very hard under a timeline because C and I were not feeling patient enough to delay a treatment cycle. Basically, all testing and treatment occurs based on a woman's menstrual cycle, of which we had to synchronize two. The lawyers both knew we wanted the contracts done within about one month, however, when C got her period (over share?) we told them, and they both worked with us via phone and email until midnight to make sure the contracts were done in time for medications to start. Amazing! We were both so impressed and grateful. 

There is nothing that stuck out to me profoundly about the contracting phase. I was not surprised by anything. Basically, we agreed to how we believe the pregnancy (if one occurs) will be cared for and that the baby(ies) will be mine, not hers. Next phase in terms of lawyers, if C is pregnant, we wait until halfway through the pregnancy and begin formulating documents to claim parenthood and to petition the court upon birth of the baby. 

Given the struggle of finding a surrogate and a clinic, the lawyer phase was nothing - other than financial stress! But, hope became ever-more tangible as we moved the process forward, faster than I thought we could. 

xx